Sometime in August, I decided to stop writing. 

To be honest, I feel that this was because I was involving a little too much of myself in my writing. I was becoming too open. I was losing perspective because I was diving right in, careless without any thought of how the information exposed would hurt me, or be used to hurt me.

This has been a problem. Most of you know that I am a nurse by profession. In nursing, if you lose your objective decision making, you are not able to service your patient in a manner that most benefits them. This was indeed a hard lesson learned for me when I ventured pediatric nursing. Caring for small children evoked a lot of emotion in me to protect rather than nurse and manage their health.

Anyone who works healthcare cannot afford to make mistakes. When you lose perspective- your judgement will be flawed. There's no question about it.

So in the time that I spent away from writing, I read. I read a lot. I read non-fiction and fiction alike. I read horror books and self help books. Ultimately, this journey through reading has lead me to interesting revolutions. The first is that writing is a creative process in which the author must insert a lot of creative energy into what he or she is trying to say. Second, in order to really be successful at anything you do, you must insert a little of your personality into it.

When I think back, all the situations that I have been through have come out successful because I threw my whole self in the project of succeeding. There was no holding back emotions, there was no guarding. There was complete self sacrifice, creating a vulnerability that most of us now are uncomfortable with. 

I don’t like being vulnerable. In my 20s, I had a belief that things were always going to be great no matter the circumstance. Life events have taught me otherwise, and now in my 30s I feel that giving in completely to one particular goal is foolish- if not reckless.

However, in order for true change to take place, one must start from complete and utter scratch and create a passion for what you do. You cannot really create a passion for anything without letting your heart bleed for it.

So from here on out- I'm going to let it bleed. I'll toss caution to the wind, stop overthinking and analyzing things.

Here goes nothing…..