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From Money Problems to……. Other Problems

5/30/2020

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Most of us always have money on our mind. We worry how we can make more money, where our money went, and what bills need to be paid. As a young mother, I was always worried about my bottom line. It wasn’t until I was in my 30s, that I looked at my finances and became brutally honest with my spending habits.  This revealed to me why my balance was always in the negative. Only after I went through the long process of paying things off, and making cuts on things that were unnecessary did that number go up.

MONEY IS A TOOL. 
Read that again.
Go ahead, I’ll wait.

MONEY IS A TOOL. It is not meant to control your life and how you live it. Yes- money solves a lot of problems. It does, however, create a lot of other problems. After spending a lot of time living from check to check (12 years to be exact), I have learned that once your money problems go away- there are other problems that need to be addressed or will come up.



What type of problems are we looking at?
There are several problems that most people who have come out of being completely broke tend to face.  Here are some, not all:
  1. Strains on relationships- This occurs due to the amount of work you have placed on succeeding in your career. You maybe were too focused on climbing the corporate ladder, or becoming good at your job to have noticed that your spouse or kids felt neglected. This is more common than you think.
  2. Health deteriorates due to lack of self awareness- This occurs usually because of the lack of attention to self care. Increased instances of stress induced health conditions have been seen in those who are successful in their areas of work.
  3. Inability to trust- This happens most frequently due to the change in your social standing. Most people do not want to see you succeed or surpass them in any way. Once your friends realize that you have more money, or make more money, they will look at you differently. In turn, you may look at them differently too. Your wallet and mindset has changed to be more conscious of what is going in it and what is going out of it. They may still be on the level that you surpassed. 
  4. Boredom- Yes this is a problem. Our minds require constant stimuli in order to continue to evolve and learn. You cannot expect to reach another achievement if your mind stays stagnant. Most of us have this problem now and don’t know it. It’s the reason why we look to stand for a cause, or get angry about something trivial. We distract ourselves with social media, TV, and binge eating. None are good habits.

How do we conquer these problems?
Any type of problem requires a unique approach that aligns with the circumstance. No one problem is the same as the other. It may have similar characteristics, however, trust me it’s not the same. Here are some ways to work through the above problems mentioned:
  1. Make it a point to spend some more time with people that are important to you. This does not have to include any blood relatives, or friends for that matter. Mentors are great people to spend time with. We cannot neglect the human need to interact with one another. It leads to depression, anxiety, and other significant mental disorders.
  2. Make your health a priority. Take the time to set up appointments with doctors and specialists. Take their directive seriously, so that you have more time on this earth enjoying the fruits of your labor.
  3. Take the time to make friends in your new social standing, or above it. These people can lend you insight into what to do next to elevate your success. Don’t be the smartest person in the room. If you are, move to another room. Leave old friends behind who cannot keep up with your success or are stuck in the same broken concept. You cannot expect to make more money with folks that continue to spend lavishly to impress people they don’t like, or are not willing to put in the hard work to get the results desired.
  4. Look for healthy coping mechanisms for stress and boredom. Fitness, traveling, finding a way to make your own mark on this world are all examples of healthy distractions. Life is so much more than the latest rant on Facebook, or the newest line of clothing out from your favorite designer. 


 At one point: I thought that all my problems would go away if I just earned a lot of money and paid off my debt. Boy was I wrong. I understand now that although money problems go away, the problems I face will mutate unexpectedly.

It’s honestly nothing to get upset about. There will always be a problem that you may encounter. Most will probably not be written about because the problem is unique to your circumstance. It is something that you have to conquer to come out as a more complete human being. Think about it. Take a moment to think of the worst problem or situation that you have encountered. How did it help shape you? What valuable lessons have you learned in the process of overcoming the circumstance? How would you approach a similar problem now that you know what you know?

These are all reasons why you should continue to overcome, and succeed. 

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    Yaritza Ellison has been an nurse since 2010. She has been essential to the healing process of many and seeks to continue to do so. Her passion for mental health and self help literature has lead her to launch justyari.org, where she aspires to coach young ladies navigating through work-life balance.


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