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The Carve Out....

5/23/2020

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5 Ways to Get That "Me Time"

​A little over 17 years ago I made a series of mistakes in my life that caused me a sentence of about 11+ years of penance. During this time, I developed a very unhealthy habit of putting just about everything before my well being. I wanted so hard to prove myself to someone who would forever see that mistake. 

At some point I opened my eyes to realize that I would forever be defined by that mistake to that person. I also realized that I was worth more than being treated like I would constantly make that mistake again. So I transformed into someone who put herself and needs before anything else. Guess what? Too much of that isn’t really good either. 

So where’s the middle ground? Where’s the happy median? Here’s where it gets interesting so pay attention….

Why is Carving Out Me Time Important?
In order to achieve homeostasis between selflessness and selfishness we have to get disciplined in creating borders and limitations on when to put yourself first. Too much time focusing on your happiness does not allow for other areas in your life to flourish. You become neglectful in your responsibilities as an adult. Your relationships with people that you love suffer. You may even become wreckless in spending and you become financially unstable. In any of these cases, the negative effects of becoming so selfish can really add stress to your life.

However, putting others above your own needs creates a really negative impact as well. You begin to feel that you are unworthy of the attention that our human nature requires to grow. You start to repress your natural feelings of anger which inevitably starts to bleed into other areas of your life. Your health deteriorates because of the neglect to your body. This in turns creates a rippling effect on everything you do. From lack of energy to tackle those tasks you wanted to tackle to emotional exhaustion… the effects are limitless.

How to Carve Out Me Time.
Take a few minutes to….
  1. Review how you spend your time during the week. During this time, characterize what you do during the week that is for your benefit and the benefits of others. Also pay attention to how much time you take in doing those tasks.
  2. Analyze what’s important. Are you wasting your valuable time in doing something that is not going to benefit you or anyone you love? Then get rid of it. Cut out the unnecessary and leave room for the necessary
  3. Create the time. Be realistic as to how much time you will need daily that won’t interrupt with other things that need to be completed. Be strategic in planning when this time will be more effective. If you know that during certain areas of the day you are more likely to be stressed out, then you may want to carve out the time close to it.
  4. Be consistent. This is important. Make sure that once the plan is set you stick to it. You can make adjustments as new life events happen, however, make the time that you have for yourself a priority.

The cold hard fact: You can’t always put yourself first. If you put your happiness first, you do not allow space for others to make you happy. By carving out guilt free time for yourself and for others, you can begin to enjoy less stress in your life.  


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    Yaritza Ellison has been an nurse since 2010. She has been essential to the healing process of many and seeks to continue to do so. Her passion for mental health and self help literature has lead her to launch justyari.org, where she aspires to coach young ladies navigating through work-life balance.


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