When you are young you really don’t think to much into how complicated a friendship could be. It usually starts as like this: you see another kid playing in the playground and if you are bold you walk right up and say hi. “Do you want to play with me?” Boom, you have a friendship. As an adult things become more complicated. This is certainly due to experience with other human interactions that make you double think if you are really ready to bring this person into your life. You have become smarter/wiser when it comes to reading people and their true intentions which makes you start to think logically about the person’s character. Or at least I hope you are. 

Let’s be frank, no one on this earth is without flaws. In fact, there is something beautiful about having imperfections and uncertainties. It opens up areas in which another person can actually come and make your flaws their strength. They will be that missing puzzle piece in your life that you been looking for. Whether the person becomes more than just a confident or not is not for us to decide right away. However, we must not overlook the fact that this person’s open end puzzle piece leads a bigger picture of who this person is. 

There are several types of people that should warrant some attention. 

The Greedy: These are people who essentially are attempting to further their own agendas with your means. They seem genuinely interested in you and what your goals are. However, as time passes, you begin to see more situations that are faced with their hands out attempting to gain your wealth as theirs. This person's own spending habits may be frivolous as they try to keep an outward image of wealth in order to detour their true intention with yours. These types are generally the hardest to detect as their intentions are not set out in the forefront. No one with these types of intentions are upfront with their end game. So in order to spot a person like this it will take time. You will begin to see this type of person asking more and more from you. Whether it be your time or your money, this “friend” continues to ask more of you. They will also not take lightly to a negative response from you. 

The Selfish: This type of person is the friend that does not want to share the spotlight. Any iota of you being more liked then this individual and you will see the envy ooze through their pores. This individual is usually easy to spot in social events. Their company usually consists of people that are younger then they are, as younger individuals look for guidance. They like to think that the world revolves around them and will have little regard to your time or what is going on in your life. It is only when it is convenient to them that they will reach out, usually with a situation that they cannot handle on their own and will need insight. 

The Negative: This individual has so much going on in their life that they have finally given in to being perpetually negative. Everything is viewed in a negative light. They are literally hanging on your every word ready to pounce and destroy any thought process that could be positive. They have a poor outlook on life, as theirs has been hard. Usually these type of people create their own misery. They continue to bring that type of negative energy around themselves and cannot understand why they are forever having such bad luck. They do not like being around someone who is successful, as this impacts how much they themselves have failed in life. This individual may resolve in passive aggressive behavior which could damage you in the long run. However, they are easy to spot so therefore are easily avoided. 

The Disloyal: An individual like this is the type that could cause a lot of damage to your base of friends. She or he has absolutely no problem running back and telling all your personal business to whoever would have time to listen. In any friendship there should be a level of trust and this person has no idea what that is. Their life revolves around who has the hottest gossip, and cannot stop talking about the next person. They do this in order to escape their own miserable reality, as this type of behavior renders no real lasting relationships in their life. 

The Oversensitive: This person may be overly sensitive because of insecurities and a negative perspective of themselves. What I find ironic is that people that are very insecure with themselves work the hardest to give a perfect exterior image. For this reason, they may actually be very attractive and work hard to keep their physical image in line. However, the oversensitive nature will reveal itself when touching an area of insecurity. These areas range from professional performance to the way they speak. There is no limit to the type of insecurity an individual may have. The problem with this is that you don’t know how to speak to the person because they may see everything you say as an attack on their character. 

There are tons of personality traits that can cause relationships to crumble before they start. These are just a few that I have touched upon. However, the best way to spot an individual of great potential harm is to pay close attention. Throughout my years as a nurse, I have turned back to my instincts time and time again. To be honest, they have never let me down. I have learned to let my patient’s body language and clinical facts speak louder then anything else. You must do the same. A person may never tell you what they are thinking or about to do. However, the way a person moves, speaks, and carries themselves will tell you all that there is needed to know.

When you have clearly identified that the person you have met has a personality trait that does not align with yours, then your best action is to leave. Depending on which personality trait you have encountered, you may have different options as to how to approach the detachment phase. You may choose to depart in a sudden fashion, however this will leave the individual confused. The person may then go out of their way to include you in everything. My personal favorite is not being so overt with your detachment. What this means is you gradually remove yourself from situations that may cause a re-encounter with the individual. Over time, the individual will begin to forget to invite you to events and that is okay. This is about preserving your peace of mind. If you have encountered an individual who puts your peace at jeopardy then do you really want them in your life? Be smart and be humble. Stay true to yourself and everything else will fall into place. 

If you have additional stories that you would like to share regarding your past experiences with faulty friendships, please leave it in the comment section. I would like to hear your stories. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed.