Hi everyone. Welcome to this Sunday's edition of Just Yari's articles.
Today I want to touch on something that I feel we all have dealt with from time to time but not really addressed. Maybe it doesn't even need to be addressed because you've gotten used to it.
However, if that was true... You wouldn't be here. With me. Reading this article.
What is unloading?
The term unloading refers to someone who basically has diarrhea of the mouth. They give way too much information all at once without holding anything back.
What sets these folks apart from others is the shorter time frame it takes to open up to other people. There may be little to no time from the moment they are introduced to them sharing personal information with you.
Another characteristic of a person unloading is the quality of the conversation. More than likely the interaction is one sided, as most of these individuals do not allow you to get a word in.
This particular form of communication is used strategically in many ways.
People Are Lonely
Most people in today's world are very lonely. Especially with the circumstances being what they are. Their source of socialization has greatly decreased and therefore, they vomit personal information to whoever is willing to listen.
Other people may have their time spent in other activities that do not permit the time to socialize. Opportunities at work may be restricted. Activities of daily living may be done in isolation. Lack of immediate family nearby may be another cause for feelings of loneliness.
All these reasons may be the reason why an individual may decide to unload on you. In this instance, the best course of action would be to show compassion. Actively listen to what the other person is saying. This is their time to form connections with others. Ask questions and encourage them to share their feelings, and experiences.
For those who have the unfortunate pleasure of meeting a person who attempts to extract information from you by unloading, this situation can be quite irritating. The way people try to get information from you is by sharing personal feelings or circumstances of others in hopes to get you to open up. What they are truly digging for is knowledge that they can later use to harm your reputation.
The same way we ask the person who is lonely questions for them to continue the conversation, so will the individual that is trying to extract information. The best option when dealing with such people is to make your answers short and to the point. If the answer requires more than a yes or no, keep it vague and lingering. Do not get yourself trapped into something that you said.
Some folks tailor interactions to your interests and personalize what they say to evoke a reaction. The key in this little dance they have you engaged in is to understand why the questions are being asked. Is the other person seeking to get to know you? Or do they have ulterior motives?
If there is anything that social media has taught us is that people like to show their best faces in front of an audience. They rarely (if ever) share the hard times that they go through. So it’s not too far to think that an individual that is unloading would be doing so to make themselves seem superior to you.
They may discuss recent purchases or vacations taken. Or they may complain that their problem is so much more different than others who have undergone the same situation in the past. The truth is that most people that form these types of dialogue are deeply insecure about their own social standing. Therefore, they overcompensate by blurting out anything they think of that would make them look more desirable to the next person.
When dealing with these types of individuals, it’s best to let them bury themselves in their own lies and materialistic objects. Once they realize how silent you have become, they will begin to ask you questions. Your approach should then alter to fit the previously mentioned suggestion. This will allow for the interaction to end quickly.
I want to leave this article on a good note. Most of the articles on this blog involve taking a close look at problems we may run into. However, for each problematic person that you may come across, there are 2 more that are as kind and open hearted as you are.
Be kind, and be smart. Energy that is negative should be shunned out immediately for the self preservation of your heart. If you respect yourself and love yourself, then do not allow others to do to you what you would not do to them.
Yaritza Ellison has been an nurse since 2010. She has been essential to the healing process of many and seeks to continue to do so. Her passion for mental health and self help literature has lead her to launch justyari.org, where she aspires to coach young ladies navigating through work-life balance.