Is none of your business
So I have been gone for a month.
In that time I have had the opportunity to enjoy meeting new people, the company of many, and then need solitude to digest these interactions. Some good, some bad. All very intriguing.
The way we interact is very interesting to me. In this digital age, we communicate with each other through social media networks and text messaging. I believe that social media has had an effect in which we become more self conscious of things that we portray out into the world. We want to keep a solid positive front when posting: smiling, emphasizing the good times, the new car bought, the vacation we went on, etc. Somehow, we have started to put other's opinions of our lives on a very high pedestal, when in all actuality it's highly irrelevant to how you live your life. Understanding how people gather opinions, why it's none of our business, and how to overcome this obstacle may greatly improve your quality of living.
The formulation of opinions have a lot of moving parts. Most often, this is the summary of physical attributes (sorry but this is true), and the quality of character you have. Although we like to think that how we present ourselves to people physically plays a small part in the formulation of their opinion of you, the opposite is true.
The character of your person is brought in to question by the way you interact with people. Are you polite? Do you take into account another person's feelings on the subject? Are you empathic? Have you done some shady stuff in the past? These things matter. Big time.
If an individual has had a previous encounter with you, the way they left the meeting or conversation weighs heavy on their memory of you. Past circumstances, therefore, play a role in the formulation of an opinion of you.
Why none of this matters….
Some people are just not happy people. That's the simplest way I can put it. These individuals, because of outside circumstances, are going to be negative, see everything negative, and won't care how nice you are to them. Their negative thoughts will bury themselves in your mind. You will begin to self doubt, even when you have done absolutely everything right. Sometimes, their negative circumstances are temporary and they cannot get out of their own way long enough to see that. Although you see this, you cannot save the individual from themselves. That is why you should pay no mind to anyone who gives off this type of energy.
Remember, they are not paying your bills. Their lives do not directly impact your lives in any form. Therefore, their problems, or negativity is none of your business.
I guarantee that this individual, once you pull away from their surroundings, will be salty (upset). They may spread rumors, make you feel uncomfortable, or try to make you miserable. Remember their opinion of you is invalid. If in doubt, reread that sentence.
The first step to not caring about other people's opinions of you is to breathe. If you truly are trying to your best to be good to others, then this one negative person should not deter you from what you are naturally doing. Take the time to step back and assess the situation. Understand first the moving parts that drive that negative behavior. Keep a healthy distance for self preservation.
Continue to work on being a positive force in other's lives, as well as your own. I know that when I take care of my family and myself, I am happier. Other's negative actions on you should not influence you to take a negative turn and treat people rude or disrespectful.
Having a foundation of strong values is another key aspect in overcoming a negative perspective of you. If you stand strong on your values, and are unwavering, there will be no way to influence you. Don't get sucked into doing things that make you uncomfortable.
Surround yourself around individuals that prefer to see you grow. People that like to see your advancement genuinely will definitely continue to support you and give you advice. These individuals are precious, as most people would rather see you do well, but not better then they are doing.
The final step when it comes to overcoming negative perspectives of you is walking with caution. People who enjoy gossiping, or being rude (sort of like the mean girls in a high school), are those who also plot and do a lot of destruction. Around these individuals, your senses should be heighten. Watch what you say around these people, they can use a lot against you.
In short, there will be people in your life that are just plain miserable.. You need to accept this concept first in order to be able to handle these type of individuals. The quality of your life should be measured by the good you do in it. Don't waste your energy on the negative.
Yaritza Ellison has been an nurse since 2010. She has been essential to the healing process of many and seeks to continue to do so. Her passion for mental health and self help literature has lead her to launch justyari.org, where she aspires to coach young ladies navigating through work-life balance.