I know what you might be thinking.

You may be thinking that this should be something that is second nature. Or maybe that there should not be an article written like this because, well, we all know better. 

Or at least we should.

I agree.

Sadly, this is not the case. 

Too often I have heard of cases in which people are discussed about in a negative light. When the conversation gets back to that individual (and it often does), they are riddled with feelings of sadness, anger, and fear for their jobs.

Is that really how we want to work with one another? It should not be!

Speaking with kindness and good intent can be beneficial to you. Regardless of whether you want to climb the corporate ladder or not. This should be the basis of all communication while at work. 

When you speak, write an email, or just encounter others, kindness and good intent will help you gain influence, and leaving you feeling better about each day that passes while working in any environment. 

Let's get started on why you should leave malicious intent behind.


#1 You Build Relations
The first benefit of speaking with kindness is that you gain influence and relationships with others when doing so.

I'm not saying that you should always look at a coworker as a means to get to a higher paying position. What I am saying is that you will inevitably reduce the number of headaches that you get at work when you take care of your co-workers. 

Listen to them when they speak. Asking probing questions about the situation they are sharing.

If the conversation is with someone that has a higher standing than you, take the time to listen and grow from their experience. They got to the position they are in because they had the right mixture of leadership skills. You can gain benefits by listening and taking mental notes.

Gaining relations can help you when you enter a crisis or situation that requires someone you trust to give you feedback. Or they can back you when it comes to a point where it's needed.

Be careful not to abuse your co-worker's relationship with you. If they feel like they are being used, you will find yourself without allies when the time is critical. This is a position where you do not want to be.


#2 Nothing You Say Can Come Back to Bite You
Have you ever stopped while in the middle of gossiping about a person to evaluate your feelings?

If you have, how did you feel at that very moment?

Chances are that you did not feel too good about yourself or the situation.

Being self-aware when speaking means that you are in tune with your emotions at the time the conversation is in play. If you are feeling negatively when you are having a conversation with someone, chances are they are feeling negative too. And we never want the person receiving our message to feel like that.

When you do engage in gossip, or speaking ill of others, you open yourself up to attacks from that very individual. You should speak of everyone as if you are speaking to them directly. Chances are, that negativity will travel much faster than positivity these days, therefore, you should not engage in any thing that brings about negative conversations.

This may be difficult to do if you are in a position in which you are coaching individuals. Your job is in fact, to look for areas of improvement.

You can do this without seeming malicious by using collaborative tones when discussing the situation. Seek to understand why the situation came to be in the first place. If you feel that the conversation is going into a negative direction, adjust your approach. Avoid accusatory verbiage. Keep the tone light find a solution with the individual that will work for both your interests. 

The majority of problems in communications between a supervisor and employee is that the supervisor leads the conversation and comes up with one sided solution without asking the employee for their input. This leads to the individual feeling as though their opinion does not matter in any way. 

Your solution may work for you because, well, you are you. You know yourself and know that if implemented it will work for you. But that employee is unique to themselves. Solutions should be created in collaboration with the employee.

There are times where a supervisor may come across an individual who does not want to take charge of the situation. This should be a warning sign to the supervisor, as it shows a lack of initiative on that individual. Nevertheless, in this situation it is good to bring about a solution for them, however, keep track of similar problems that may arise in the future. A disciplinary step may be warranted.


#3 You Will Seem Formless (Fly Under the Radar)
Another benefit to take into consideration while communicating with others with kindness and good intent is that you will not be made a target. 

Let's face it people, we live in a world where people will not take things you say with a light heart. If you hurt someone, you will inevitably make an enemy. People have long memories. You should consider this when speaking of anyone, or to anyone.

When you remain kind, you lift the weight of looking over your shoulder at work. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. 

Sometimes, our guilty conscious will sink us quicker than anyone else does. After gossiping or speaking negatively, you make mistakes more often. Or you are unable to think clearly because you continue to worry about whether someone told so-so what you said. 

If you are going to speak ill, then it's best not to say anything at all. If you need to vent to someone, vent to someone that you do not work with. They will not be able to put your job or reputation on the line because they are not in direct contact with anyone that you work with.


#4 People Will Feel Bad If They Cross You
If you continue to treat others with respect, dignity and kindness, they will be less likely to cross you or stab you in the back. This is of course provided that the individual has feelings and are not so competitive that they dismissed their values.

The hard and true reality is that people have become more and more competitive. So much so that they disregard everything that is decent in order to get to their goal.  Sometimes, no matter what you do or how well you treat these individuals, they will counter you. Although unsaid, rest assured that every instance in which you gain influence or momentum, you will also be the subject of envy from those who remain highly competitive and ambitious.

Yes- being competitive and ambitious may get you in high places. However, if you cross others while on your way to the top, you may make some enemies that will stop at nothing to end your success. 

The only way to combat this is to stay true to who you are and what you do. If you are a good individual with a high moral standing every time someone encounters you, then any rumor or lie that is uttered about you will come under question.


#5 Leave People with Good Feelings
Leaving people with a good experience after a conversation may seem a little repetitive in this article. However, it is an important benefit to take into consideration.

Let’s be clear, no one likes a person that continuously brings about a negative feeling. If you are the bearer of bad news all the time, then people will dread your communication with them. Some may even try to avoid it. Therefore, it is best to try to communicate with people often. 

Say hello, just because you thought of someone.

Make someone smile every now and then.

Make sure that every experience that you have when communicating with others is a memorable and joyful experience. You will find that when you do, you will not only have more influence, but you will gain more friends.


#6 Feel Good About Yourself
When you leave others feeling good and with a great experience, you in turn are infected with the same euphoria. During these turbulent times, there is nothing better than gaining happiness at this price.

There is more to life than gaining a higher position within your corporation. Although we all would like a better paying job or position, you should also value the opportunities that come your way.

Every situation has its benefits. People that give you a hard time, or challenges that you might face will give you a better and deeper understanding of just how resilient you are. 

Good and joyful experiences will give you hope for brighter days on your darkest hours. And people with good hearts will help support you when you feel alone. Cherish these as you would cherish a new Rolex or car. 
​
Some individuals in the corporate world cannot separate ambition and competition from just being a very good well-rounded individual. That is why human resources is there to decipher when an individual has crossed professional boundaries. When the situation has become distracting to others, they will then perform an analysis and render their decision. 

Before it gets that far, we should take a moment to evaluate how we come across to others.

Is my message coming from a good place? Why or why not? How can this message be conveyed in a way which will be more receptive by the person I am trying to communicate with?

You can never go wrong with being kind and compassionate. Although the world around us is forever changing, your morals should never be sacrificed for material objects. Cherish those you love and one another.