Well ladies and gentlemen we have made it through another week. Those of you who are new to my blog- WELCOME! I am glad that you decided to take the time out of your busy day to spend some time surfing through this website to gain insight on how I think/operate.
My mind is a trip. I know. So while you are here, make sure to pour yourself an alcoholic beverage and relax. Most of the time while here, you will read things that (at the time) I felt needed to be brought to light. I hold back a lot in natural conversations with people throughout the day. This blog is meant to be cathartic for me. I struggle a lot opening up to people, so this website is a means to find a voice that I somehow lost. Please bear with me.
I don’t know if it’s the wine or if it’s just me being in a good mood, but tonight I am feeling a bit loose with the fingers and thoughts as I type. So maybe this article might interest you. You might also find this a bore and throw your electronic device to the side and be like: I’mma drink instead. By all means, DO IT. But for those who stay to see what the hell Yari is thinking tonight, I say thank you in advance.
I was taking a walk the other day and like I always do, I was thinking. The idea for this article came to me as it usually does- out of the blue, and like a ton of bricks. Most of you might see the title of this article and be like: Well aren’t those two the same? Excuses and Explanations? You could not be more wrong.
Let’s look at those differences.
What are excuses?
Frankly put, excuses are made as a release of duty, or a justification to someone’s incompetence. How many times have we all heard excuses for someone’s lack of responsibility or “mistake”? While we are here, it serves this article’s purpose to define a mistake vs. an intentional behavior. A mistake is a behavior made in solidarity. Intentional behavior is literally a series of mistakes made, or a series of habits that an individual commits to.
So while there are instances in which we can accept one or two mistakes, we also should be on the lookout for a series of intentional behavior that we could summarize to be ingrained in the said person. Damn this wine is good.
Excuses usually follow a person’s lack of responsibility or follow through on their own word. “I couldn’t get to this because… " or "I didn’t do what I said I would because…” Generally what follows these statements is somewhat over inflated with a series of events that you can’t even make sense of. Simply put: the excuse doesn’t make common sense and you see the lie as plain as the nose on the person’s face.
Most of the time, an excuse is made to appeal to the listener’s sympathy. This lessens the blow of repercussions that might follow the actions that warranted the excuse in the first place. This is most often the tactic made by sociopaths who have no emotional attachments to people or pets. They, my friends, appeal to the individual’s sense of connection to others in order to manipulate and abuse their trust. And… it sucks.
What are explanations?
The first thing that came to mind when I thought of how I can describe the definition of an explanation was elementary math class and long division. The teacher would always ask to “show your work,” which helped him see where you went wrong. In the most basic terms, showing your work in long division is literally what an explanation is.
Explanations seek to be descriptive, and show logically what caused the results. They seek to clarify where there is confusion and find solutions in bleak situations. One key point to place here is they do not necessarily follow any form of incompetence. Explanations can be made after any sort of victory or success.
And this is what I like about writing. The AH-HA moment. Let me get back to being serious here.
Explanations can be made in order for others to follow a train of thought. They can also help others understand your perspective. Explanations help teams find what went wrong, and how to find the solution that would work best to prevent the error from happening again. This, on the other hand, can be used to build on when the explanation is made on someone’s success. Explanations are the cornerstone of progression and elevations to higher dreams, goals, and bottom lines.
How to change from excuses to explanations…
If you are one of those individuals that read this article and was like “Damn Yari, I make a lot of excuses, how can I change that?” Welp this is the section you should be reading. Right here. So pay attention.
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this article as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Feel free to comment on the last excuse or explanation you made. Maybe it wasn’t what you thought it was...
Yaritza Ellison has been an nurse since 2010. She has been essential to the healing process of many and seeks to continue to do so. Her passion for mental health and self help literature has lead her to launch justyari.org, where she aspires to coach young ladies navigating through work-life balance.