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Freedom From Drama

7/4/2019

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Written By: Yaritza Ellison
This past week has been very nice. I have been able to take some time to observe and reflect. In doing so, I have realized that sometimes we focus too much on a problem and it becomes bigger than what it really is. Our minds create problems rather than solutions if we are not careful. This is especially true when it comes to social interactions. We assume versus actually seeking to fully understand and therefore we unconsciously create something that was never really there in the first place. Therefore, the purpose of this article is aimed at improving these circumstances.
​Beginnings
This may shock you, but drama is created first within you. 

Yah I said it. Now let me explain it.

Initially, drama starts as a negative thought of another person. The thought may have been created due to a misconception, a perceived wrong from the individual, or it could have been influenced through way of gossip. People who lack humility often are subject to increased drama because they cannot set their ego aside in order to really understand the moving parts of any situation. These negative thoughts then lead into negative actions. Your body language gives you away, and you carry yourself differently around that person. You are sensitive to insults, and become highly defensive. Your insecurity spikes, and because of that you are more likely to lash out in anger. This has a devastating effect.
Effects
Effects of drama can be astounding if no intervention has been sought out. Inability to focus on tasks at work or at home are often seen. Racing thoughts may occur which lead to problems sleeping. You may cause bad relations between your coworkers, friends, and family. Often seen in later stages, depression sets in. You feel as though everyone and everything is against you. You may feel alone in a situation which could’ve been nothing, however, it was spun out of control. 
Avoidance 
Since the beginning starts with you, then self improvement is needed in order to change your situation for the better. My daughter definitely inspired the first resolution in this section :)
  1. Focus on obtaining a positive mental attitude: This is the most important thing that you can do. Take the time to self evaluate your thoughts and start changing things little by little. Look for progression versus perfection. Allow yourself time to heal from past experiences and move past them. Focus on instances when you felt happiest. Focus on things that are going well in your life. See yourself having positive relationships.
  2. Avoid those who like to gossip: Let’s be crystal clear here. Those who tell you what others are saying about you, are doing the same to you. There’s no question about it. Communication is an exchange of information or ideas. When someone says “Hey, Mary said that you had gained a lot of weight and are counting the amount of cupcakes you ate” you should be wondering why Mary was so comfortable discussing this matter with that person. Chances are, they opened Mary up by making the observation that you did indeed gain weight. This person is someone who is adding fuel to a fire and more than likely is looking to see your reaction. They often get pleasure by watching your misery.
  3. Build tolerance against negative influences: Sometimes, you are unable to avoid a negative environment. An example could be at work. If that is the case, you can definitely build some what of a tolerance against the negative behavior of another individual. As stated above, people who are adding to the drama often enjoy seeing other people get upset and are avidly watching for a raising conflict. Knowing this, you can stop it before it begins. Search for healthy coping mechanisms to avoid the stress. 
  4. Check your actions: You may be adding fuel to drama by the way you act and not even know it. Be sensitive to other people and their feelings. Sometimes things that you think are communicated clearly are misunderstood and taken in negative way. Seek to make your communication with others sincere and clear.
  5. Build a trusting relationship or support system: In order to fight the incoming drama, you are going to need support from those you trust most. Preferably, choose people outside of the situation for advise in order to get an unbiased perspective. 
There will always be people who create drama around them, and other people who add to it. In order to maintain stability in your life, you should declare yourself free from those negative influences and focus on self improvement. Building a rich, for filling life has to be your main priority, not worrying about who said what and to whom. There should be no room for drama. Declare it, live it, and stay clear from it. ​
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    Author

    Yaritza Ellison has been an nurse since 2010. She has been essential to the healing process of many and seeks to continue to do so. Her passion for mental health and self help literature has lead her to launch justyari.org, where she aspires to coach young ladies navigating through work-life balance.


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